Why saying “New year, new me” DOESN’T work for you

Christmas has flew by and the New Year is on it’s way. So what have you got planned for 2018?

People love making phrases like “New Year, new me!” or “2018 will be MY year” … But the problem that faces them is how is it going to change? They don’t seem to grasp reality to see that you actually need a physical plan to get your life in order.

It’s about looking at what you want, making a list of it on REAL paper, written down with a REAL pen and to them smash out your goals in REAL life, with REAL progress!

Here’s a funny thing you might not know: gym memberships rise by 12% in January because people want to commit themselves to getting in better shape. But what they don’t follow through with is a plan to help them achieve it, or a routine that will make them keep going back. That’s why within 24 weeks of the January boost, they cancel memberships or stop going after that time period.

What more proof do you need that words just aren’t as strong as your actions.

PLAN! When you say something, make sure you stick to it.

ACHIEVE! Smash out your goals first thing in the morning every day, so you can then not put it off “until later”. Because believe it or not, your “later” will probably never come.

MOTIVATION? Your attitude depends on if you keep up your goals. So many people get motivation mixed up with will-power to finishing a task. People look for the motivation to do something, but what they really need is to understand the reality of the outcome if you don’t finish what you start. That’s where you have to push through with your will-power to achieve it, EVEN if you don’t feel like it.

 

Example: If you start going to the gym for the first few weeks, then stop for a long period of time, all the work you done the first few times is a waste of your time, energy and life. You need the same routine everyday so you don’t fall behind on what you gained in the first few sessions.

 

REPEAT! If you get up in the morning a few hours earlier than you normally would, and say head to the gym, you smash out your first goal of the day with no excuses of not doing it later. If you do something each day for about 25 days in a row, your brain clocks it down as a routine and you will feel yourself create that new habit for yourself.

That works with anything.

So make sure you’re not just saying stuff that won’t be followed up with action, but actually set a goal, write it down, look at it every day when you wake up, smash it, and move on to the next task. That is how winning is done.

Let’s make 2018 your best year yet.

 

 

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“Where will you be in 5 years?”

I got asked a while back where I wanted to be in five years time. The first ever time I got asked it, it made me wonder what it actually meant. And underneath, I found what I was really being asked, was how will I measure my life?

It made me realise that the we need to be adding value to the world & follow what we wish to leave behind after the time we are here on earth. It’s leaving behind our values for others to use and being more open minded about all options in life.

It’s about living for what WE believe is right for us. Seeing our future self would be a fright. Because we may find we were living the same day over and over and over, every single day for 365 days in the year. Therefore it’s about concentrating on our own growth and development within ourselves. We need to be more open with what the world has to offer us. We will never know how we will be in the future but if you set your goals now, and working on them consistently without distractions getting the best of you, then you will be closer to where you want to be heading.

 

Another question pops to mind. What is it that makes us happy? So many people try to keep up an appearance of a fake life. They pretend that everything is perfect. Little do they know that perfect doesn’t exist. Nobody’s perfect and that is absolutely fine! We shouldn’t mask ourselves for others sake, but to show who we really are underneath. Some people are even scared of doing something out of their ordinary schedules just because they fear what others will say or do about it. Let us then refer back to it.. what makes us happy? It should be doing what we love doing without critics stopping us from living how we want to live. Or fearing opinions from idiots that just mean nothing to us. You can’t be living a sheltered life, holding yourself back just because someone doesn’t agree with your options. Therefore, live your life for you and remember to be happy being who you really are, while pursuing everything you’ve always wanted.

 

Those who achieve great things are willing to be scared but not scared off. Don’t be put off of doing something just because you’re held back by fear. Challenge yourself in an extreme way and watch yourself grow into a completely different person. Or if you’re starting to do something for the first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t go right the first time. You need to practice, learn and become the best at whatever you want in life. Every pro was once an amateur. Every expert was once a beginner. Start working for what you want and you WILL get there.

 

 

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Why do I need to follow my dreams & passions?

“If I followed my dreams and passions, my degree would go to waste!” Does that occur to you too? Well.. Sure… but would you rather waste your life wishing you DID pursue them instead though? We all go by what we see others doing. Everyone is just doing the same thing.

Everyone is going for the same goals of getting married, having kids, getting a decent job and having a mortgage on a house. But.. Why? Because no one seems to question that route in life. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you need to do the same.

You then feel like it isn’t seen as “normal” to give up that same life that has a sense of security, to then jump at a dream that you wished you could just go after, to make your life 100% happy, and to be doing what you love for the rest of your time on earth.

What’s limiting you from your dreams, your passions? I can tell you… it’s your own thoughts that are stopping you from what you want in life. And if not you, it’s the critic stuck on the same route who hasn’t questioned what they truly want from their existence.

A great example of someone doing what they love, is Mr Bean. Yes, Sir Rowan Atkinson, who got to create his own character that spoke zero words, but made everyone know how he felt. Now a multimillionaire from doing something he loved doing, and all because he believed in himself and didn’t stop until he got there.

 

 

That’s just one example. There are so many more just like him, and not always a celebrity. There’s a guy I know who got kicked out his house at the age of 21. He wanted to go into the restaurant business. He got quite high up before he realised that he didn’t want to do that anymore, so he set up his own business doing what he loved doing in his spare time, which was gardening. He moved to London, had a fleet of staff, all the kit for the jobs and built an empire from the ground up. And why? Because he knew if he didn’t pursue his real passion, his life would be the complete opposite of what it is today.  He’s now a successful businessman with the same qualities of Sir Richard Branson. Looking after staff, treating the customers like close friends, and an all round great personality. He’s like this because he’s happy with his life.

So what’s your excuse?

That’s the question it really comes down to. Is your excuses. You make excuses to put off what you want to do, because you know deep down that you’re scared of change, or cautious of failure, or may be it’s someone else who doesn’t believe in you. It all comes down to how much you believe in yourself. How will you know it will work if you don’t even try?

There’s no pressure in succeeding in life, just the willingness to actually say you’ve tried. And what is failure anyway? If you enjoyed the journey doing it, and learnt from it along the way… who gives a fuck?

Do what you love, and be good at what you do.

You have the power to change your life. And it can all be started with one single thought.

Life is way to short

You haven’t looked closely enough at the photo to realise that this dog wasn’t just a dog. She was a friend. She was family. Penny would bark at anything that didn’t agree with her and stood her ground if she knew it was worth standing for. I speak for both myself and my partner when I say she’s been a strong little lady inside and out. With a twinkle in her eye, she would wander over to greet you and a loud yapping bark to follow… And several more to follow that. Penny could only ever make you laugh. It doesn’t matter how many shoes, socks or toys she could ruin, you could never be truly angry with such an innocent little face.

I had the privilege to of become close with Penny throughout the past 4 years, but within the last 24hrs, it has broken our hearts for an even longer period of time. After 14 years of life, we’ve lost an absolute irreplaceable friend. She has been incredible and will be missed by us all. I have tears rolling down as I write this. Hold your pets just a little tighter & think about how much they really mean to you. We seem to forget what people and animals mean to us until they are gone so make the best memories, and cherish them for a life time.
Rest tight Pen x

 

Time goes so quick. Why waste it doing things that you hate? If you want something in life, why wait for someone to give you permission? Ask that girl out, start that business you wanted or leave that job you hate. Don’t kill time, because time will eventually kill you.

Why being popular is STUPID

Popularity stops us from doing what we want. You try to keep up the appearance at parties and social gatherings so they don’t outcast you from the group. Little do you actually reserve spare time for yourself to be trying to find out your own path in life. I don’t just mean career wise, but with commitments and other relationships too. You end up spending so much time trying to look good for others, or acting in a way to please others, that you forget who you really are inside.

 

Being liked by everyone is NOT going to help get you on to the correct path you need to take. Popularity stops us from endeavouring our real path. People drag us away from following our own path due to their different opinions and responses that they feel. 

Even if you stand alone, stand for what YOU believe is right for yourself. Don’t be a people pleaser here, because you will regret it later on in life when you DO start taking this action.

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I know a guy who just bitches and moans all the time about how his “so called” friends leave him on nights out, or they start fights with him for no reason. I truly believe some people just hang around others as they have nothing better to do with their lives, and just LOVE drama. Why hang around with these sorts of people in the first place anyway?

 

It’s time to better your life with a dramatic change… It’s time to remove all the one’s who aren’t helping you towards a better future, or who don’t support your next move. From experience, I can tell you that the only person you truly need to rely on is yourself. And it’s you that’s going to solve the issues. You’re the one who’s going to create a plan for the future. And it’s 100% down to you to make sure it moves closer to your goals.

 

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Confidence matters

You see people all the time being super confident within themselves and you wonder, “Why can’t I be like that?”

Well… nothing is stopping you. Seriously. From a young age, I was silent as a child. I was brought up as a kid thinking my opinions didn’t matter so I never spoke how I felt. It was only when I started working at my first ever job did I realise that everyone just didn’t care how their opinion got treated, but they were proud enough to say what they think. You need to become more aware that everyone is aloud their own voice in life, whether people listen to you or not. But it’s showing a personality behind your thoughts and beliefs that show the confidence in you. If you’re passionate about something, it just comes out so much easier than something you don’t really have an opinion on.

Self confidence was a big stepping stone for me. As already stated, I was shy because of not opening up. But that also went with my body posture and how I spoke with a quiet voice. So that was the next thing to work on. Performance artists are used to speaking loud, so I hung around with a few of these types of people to help get it into me, that you need to speak loud and proud with zero hesitation.

 

Maybe the way you dress could affect how people look at you. When someone is in your local shop wearing a tracksuit, you may think they’re not your cup of tea and come off as lazy. Well, that’s a prejudgement. Put that same person in a smart suit with a tie on, and you feel like they are more approachable for a sophisticated conversation.

You may say that learning confidence is silly, and people are born confident. WRONG! Nobody can be born confident. It’s our upbringing and our learning curve in life that creates how our confidence is affected. Think about it, when we’re born, we have no past life to be looking back on to judge what we can or cannot do. If we were told as kids to “SHUT UP!” or to “stop being so loud!” then these are instant memories of our confidence being knocked over, because we respect what our parents or guardians say, as they should of known best. Little did they realise that it would affect us in our future. So it’s about reprogramming your brain to think different, and looking back at our past to analyse where it went wrong, so you know where to fix it.

Confidence is learnt, and with a few useful tips and tricks, you will find that YOU too can learn how to be more confident.

Here’s a brilliant book that I’ve recently read, which I definitely recommend.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

 

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Limited Time In Life

Time as we know is already very limited. I’m not very young, but I’m also not very old either, which comes to surprise that already I can see how quickly time passes. (I’m not your “average” person).

I spent nearly four years in a job that I hated, to the point of breakdowns. It became a force of habit to just turn up, be miserable and then leave 12 hours later. What a hideous routine that turned out to be.

However, being so miserable had some small perks. It pushed me to better myself. To better my mind and eventually made myself realise that life is on a limited timer as it is. So why waste it anymore, doing something that was making my life more and more unbearable?

We cannot grow time, we cannot capture time or even pause it at a sudden moment. We are all gifted with the same amount of time in each day, but so many choose to waste it. There are those who haven’t opened their eyes wide enough to see that life is going by us at an extreme rate of pace. And then you have the other types of people who see it moving quickly, that they put a ban on sleeping and try to get stuff done in every hour of every day.. (Like Bill Gates used to do in his younger Microsoft building days)

But you’ll find when we get older, we look back on our past and realise how much time was actually WASTED on unnecessary things that you hated doing, such as working at a crappy job, or procrastinating for hours instead of working hard on building your dreams. The thing is, we abuse time.

You have to open your mind as well as your eyes here. You need to stop spending time on things that damage you. Don’t waste time, because once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. You need to be more efficient with how you spend it and spending it on just the activities that matter in your life.

I got invited to a weightlifting class the other day, but I had to refuse. If they’re doing it in their spare time because they want to, that’s fantastic… BUT… It doesn’t mean that I want to do it with them. I prefer to spend my time learning, growing and building different challenges, tasks and projects of my own that will actually count towards my personal goals in life. So you need to assess the situations you get into, and say “no” to the things that aren’t helping you progress. It kills too much time.

We never know when our life is going to end, so why waste it being unhappy, wasting it to please others, or to put off your ambitions/goals in life?

Stop killing time because time is killing you. When you look at the older generation in nursing homes, so many of them regret decisions they made and wish they didn’t waste so much time on pointless activities. They wish they could go back and tell their younger self to follow their dreams, to not care about other people’s opinions. To not be put off by what everyone else was thinking. To not be put off by their own criticising thoughts and to not give up on what they wish they could of had. Instead though, they’re at the end of the road. Time moves faster and they wish they could of done more.

Wishing won’t do anything. But YOU can. When you realise how precious time is, you’ll appreciate every waking minute, of every day, of every week, month and year.

Time is a resource that we lose and never get back. But time can do so much. It can go at different speeds, it makes us older, it takes away bad days, it brings us good days, it can break us, it can heal us, it can make us, and it can shape us. We get wiser the more it goes by. Time does a lot. So lets use it to it’s fullest degree. Let us shape it to help our future self. Grind now, shine later. Whatever you put your mind to, you CAN accomplish. Use time to grow your thoughts. Use time to learn new skills, to pick up new trades or to even be pursuing your passions.

Don’t be like the majority of people who just use their time to watch silly videos or consistently tagging people on social media in meme’s. Use it wisely, or you’ll have regret turn up at your bedside when you’re reflecting on things you SHOULD of been doing.

Let regret scare you, and use limited time to motivate you. Go for what is yours.

 

 

Find a book here on how to “Stop Wasting Your Time”

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